After dating for about four months, most couples will start living together. This, at least, is according to a Quarts observation of students at Stanford University.
Whether you resolve to move in together after a fortnight, a couple of months, or even years, there’s no doubt you’re taking a big step. Moving in together is a sign that you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level, closer to formal marriage.
Moving in with a partner is exciting, yes, but there are things you need to do to ensure a successful relationship. Check out these tips for moving in together successfully.
Take Care of the Emotional Side of Things
Of course, if you’re considering moving in together, it’s safe to say your relationship is strong. You certainly have strong feelings for each other and looking forward to having a wonderful time together.
Unfortunately, relationships do end. In fact, the average relationships now last anywhere from a couple of months to about three years.
We’re not saying that your relationship is destined to fail, but it’s a fact that relationships fail. There’s nothing wrong with this. However, when you move in together, you want your relationship to succeed, not fail.
The consequences of falling out with your partner soon after moving in together can be too big to bear. For example, if you’re the one who had to move from your apartment, falling out will mean moving out and possibly starting to look for another apartment. This costs time and money and can make you feel like you haven’t progressed in life.
Or, perhaps you resolved to sell, toss, or donate some items before moving in with your partner. If the relationship comes to an end, you could be staring at a loss. And if you weren’t legally married by the time of the break-up, you might have no way of getting your partner to split the property with you.
As such, it’s super essential to take care of the emotional side of things before starting to live together. Talk with your partner and assess whether moving in together is something you really want to do for the long-term. There shouldn’t be ifs, buts, or let’s see how it goes. Both of you should be 100 percent ready for it.
Figure Out Where You’ll Live
You have three options:
- Your partner moves into your house
- You move into your partner’s house
- You move into a new house.
Each of these options has its upsides and downsides. Moving into your partner’s house is ideal if the location is ideal for both of you, but that means giving up your own house. In most heterosexual relationships, it’s often the woman who moves into the man’s place.
Moving into either’s house is easy if the person moving was a renter. In this case, you just need to give the landlord a move-out notice and pack your bags when moving day comes.
However, if the person who wants to move is a homeowner, the need to sell the house might arise. It doesn’t make any financial sense to keep a home where you won’t be living unless you rent it out. If you need to sell your home fast so that you can move in with your partner without any further ado, there are companies or investors who will buy it quickly.
Moving into a new house is a more preferable option. While it can be the costliest option, a new house makes you feel like you’re both starting on a blank slate, especially as far as your living conditions are concerned. Plus, it’s neutral ground, so no one will necessarily feel superior to the other.
Put Your Financial Ducks in a Row
Finances are one of the most common reasons marriages end.
You might not be married yet, but don’t even for a second assume that financial issues won’t creep in soon. As long as there are financial obligations to be met, there will always be an opportunity for money-fueled relationship troubles.
It’s, for this reason, couples moving in together should get their financial ducks in a row before taking this major step. Planning your finances is all about allocating financial responsibilities so that everyone knows the role they’ll play.
There’s no standard formula for working out finances before moving in together. For some couples, one person will take care of all financial responsibilities. For other couples, they’ll split the financial responsibilities evenly or in some ratio.
Whatever works for you, just don’t get into a situation where you’re living together without having a sound financial plan. And, don’t get us wrong. Getting your financial lives in order doesn’t mean giving up your personal financial life. You still have personal money goals you need to chase.
Start Thinking Long-Term Early Enough
Considering the high rate of divorce in the United States, it’s understandable if both of you are skeptical about moving in together but still want to give it a shot nonetheless. This kind of skepticism will only keep you from achieving so much.
Here’s the thing. You’ve moved in together. The ship has left the harbor. You might as well just decide to be in it for the long-term.
With this mentality, it’s easier to start making long-term plans. For example, you can start making joint savings for retirement. Remember, the earlier you start saving for retirement, the more likely you’re to hit your savings goal.
Embrace These Tips for Moving in Together
Moving in together is almost a natural step. Once you’ve found “the one,” it’s only natural to want to start a life together. However, you’ve to put in a lot of effort to make the relationship work. Embracing these tips for moving in together will help ensure you’re starting out on a solid footing.
Don’t stop here, though. There’s a lot more to learn, and our blog has it all. Keep reading.